My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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