Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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