he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Even my vagina gasped.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize