her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
