the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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