So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
