it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
