I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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