physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
