we have officially lost it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
