I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I've blown a few things in my day
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
