Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize