I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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