I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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