does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
