OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
