He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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