super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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