it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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