i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
