My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
