Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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