I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
