Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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