Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
