She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
