spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
