Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
PANTIES FOUND
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
