woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
