fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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