you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
