So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
