These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
