dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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