The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
