All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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