Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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