He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize