i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
