doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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