I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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