Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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