do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
