Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
