You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
