Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
