Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
