Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
sex in a hospital.. check
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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