The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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