let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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