I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize