Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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