NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
not ubering you a puppy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
