Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
