I wish I could punch you in the face.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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