LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
