Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize