I just cut my nipple shaving
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
