Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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