I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
