So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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