i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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