I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
