do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
