Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
