We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
