You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My pussy is not your playground.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
