Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
