I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
