the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
