Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
