Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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