i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
