K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
