thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just want to make out with him forever
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
