I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
