"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
