tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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