careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
