Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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