Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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