you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
